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I would shave the area every few weeks, but trying to reach your back is kind of a hassle. And when I try to spin around real quick in the bathroom to catch a glance, I just end up going around a few times and getting dizzy.

The thing about shaving my back is that it gets all prickly and irritated. I just wanted it gone. My girlfriend suggested I visit her esthetician.

I made an appointment, telling her I would try anything once. Secretly I was excited. Her reply was that it was a matter of personal preference and also depended on what was doing down there.

I immediately pulled down my underwear and showed her what I was dealing with. I mean, they wax vaginas all day for a living.

Doctors fix vaginas, and waxers just pull off hair. But either way, they both see a ton of vaginas. My logic was that a penis is the male vagina, to which I think we can all agree.

So, I showed her. Later when I told my wife that I showed her waxer my privates to get some grooming advice, I was surprised to find out she was not happy.

It would be more accurate to say she was extremely angry. About the same time this happened, I had another interesting pubic moment — this time with my father.

I was home in Peoria visiting my parents. Plug in that visual while I roll out the rest of the details. After a three-hour summer ride home with the top-down, I was ready for a shower.

You get this heaviness in your hair and on your face, probably from all the crap in the air. I made my way to my bedroom and unpacked.

Pulled out the shower gloves and my toiletry bag. Next I stripped naked, as one would do when preparing to bathe. I had forgotten conditioner. Combine my predilection for nudity with the activity of getting ready for a shower, and you have a nude man walking about.

So, as I was about to step into the tub, I realized — no conditioner. Heading out of the bathroom, was fortunate to see my father walking to his bedroom — this is where their conditioner is stashed.

I asked my dad if he would grab some for me. He did, and came back moments later with a bottle. Probably Jojoba.

I froze like you see in the movies where someone is walking away and the other person says something shocking. The person walking away stops and shudders, and you see this all from the back.

In this case, imagine me nude from behind, stopping. As casually as you would say your own name, my father answered, with seemingly no emotional attachment to his response.

I spun around, because clearly this is a conversation that needed to continue. So many thoughts. Not to bore you with the details, but I must have asked six more questions about this practice.

Does it really condition the hair? How long do you leave it on? Do you wash, rinse, repeat, and then condition?

Who taught you to do this? Stuff like that. He answered each question. I believe, in his mind, this was a form of wisdom he was passing down from father to son.

And, in a way, it was wisdom, for I had never heard about conditioning chest hair. Now I really did shudder.

I suppose I talked about it with girlfriends, but only to make sure they were cool with my grooming decisions. But never spoken of with friends, pastor, or employer.

I turned to look, because clearly, this WAS a joke. The whole chest hair conversation had to be a long setup, and this was the punchline.

Well done, Dad! Reminds me of the time I was coming back with my parents from a wedding for a family friend named Andrea. She is known as Rea. I spent five minutes doing a set-up on the car ride home that included a false story of her running around the reception in a state of panic.

I built suspense, tension, and sincerity. I know how to do these things. Back to Dad. This disappointed me. What was a great joke was now a tragic admission.

I immediately looked at my dad like there was something terribly wrong with him. But he was. It was time for me to impart some wisdom of my own.

But in the form of a question, like Socrates. My father was now judging me while stumbling through his response. That generation did not trim their pubes.

So I started backtracking to try and repair the damage just caused to our relationship. Well, you know, I mean, just a little cleaning up down there.

That would be crazy! Women expect it. I mean, sort of. But no, I never thought about conditioning.

Not a bad idea. No sir, not bad at all. Okay, gotta go. I was not very interested in what he was watching, but it was better than the uncomfortable position of before.

I blushed. Got it! When he let go he did not place his hand back on my knee, but on my upper leg. His thumb rested intimately on my thigh.

As the days passed through autumn and into winter, he kept word and hugged and kissed me more every day. Once, he even smacked my bottom as I passed him on the way to the kitchen, warning me to do my chores, as the dishes were piling up.

When I sat on his lap, his touch inched ever closer, until his warm hand covered the soft skin of my inner thigh and his thumb brushed the edge of my panties.

His other arm he wrapped around me, lower when I was wearing a bra but no t-shirt; but when my bare breasts were hidden behind a bulky shirt, he got high enough so that I could feel his arm brush up against them.

Feeling bolder than usual one night, I took his hand and placed it on the mound above my pussy. Just the fabric of my panties separating us.

He pulled his hand back in surprise. I feel loved and protected. He did not remove his hand again, but let it rest where I put it.

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